Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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