There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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