on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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