I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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