Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
