Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
