I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
