Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
