69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
