The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
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That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
