im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
