$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
