She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
