My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
