HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
