Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
