I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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