12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Small penises have feelings too.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
