Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
