I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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