filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
