I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
