Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
