It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
