A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
