You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
