Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
