8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
