I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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