Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
