Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
