I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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