Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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