brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
