chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
