Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
