gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
