wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
