Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my liver is dry heaving
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
