At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
They have beer where we have blood.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
