We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
