I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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