Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
