i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
