so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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