I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
