so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
