Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Boobs speak an international language.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
