it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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