He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
