Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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