hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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