i don't like sucking hair
I hate all girls vehemently.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize