She's JV to your varsity
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
