theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
