I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
