I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's shark week go big or go home
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
