Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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