but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
