his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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