Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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