Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
